One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the lesson. Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word.
Finally, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."
What do you get when you cross a rooster and a telephone pole?
A 50-foot cock that wants to reach out and touch somebody.
A dedicated union steel worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, decided to make a side trip to the famous brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"
“No," she replied, "It isn't."
"Well,” the union man inquired, “if I pay you $100, what cut do the ladies get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the union man drove off search of a more equitable—and hopefully union—shop. His search continued until he reached a brothel where the madam proudly informed him, "Yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."
The man asked, "If I pay you $100, what cut do the ladies get?"
The madam replied, “The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the union man said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive young woman. “I'd like her," he said.
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the madam. Then she gestured to an old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 53 years seniority and she's next."