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Question: My boyfriend has a 7 year old daughter that we have every other weekend. I've noticed on occasion (when she was even 6) that when I was running bath water for her, I would walk in and she would move suddenly from under the running water. I didn't really think anything about it until the other day when I took her to the pool and then she got in the jacuzzi. I was lying out and casually keeping an eye on her and I noticed her kneeling in front of the jet, eyes shut, and the look on her face was, well orgasmic, should I say. Is this normal for a 6/7 yr old to be doing. I don't remember exploring myself until my breast started growing, about 10 or 11 yrs old. I also don't remember my own daughter doing these things. Could it be something she saw her older half-sister do, (10 yrs. older than her and sexually active from the age of 14) and decided to try it? Of course and liked the sensation. Are we going to have a sensually/sexually active child on our hands? I mentioned it to my boyfriend, what I saw, and he just about wigged out on me. I had to keep him from freaking out on me that his "little girl" is growing up. One of us still goes in and washes her hair for her, because it is long. I've told him she is now getting to old for him to be doing things like that for her, society looks down on single dad caring for their daughters. Anyway, I just am unsure of how to proceed. I grew up in a strictly no talking about sex family. My parents showed affection in front of us, by kissing and holding hands, but heaven forbid you talk about sex. I didn't even masturbate until I met my boyfriend now and I was 44 yrs. old. I never used a vibrator or anything. But I am a very sensual and tactile person. I love the feel of the warm sun on my nipples, etc. And I was very open with my children and discussed everything with them which they had questions. I'm not shocked by this, but I am surprised because of how young she is. Also, I have a question about hygiene. Both of her parents do not make her bathe everyday. I feel especially for a girl, hygiene is very important and that we must clean ourselves everyday. Is that just my western up bringing? What are your thoughts on the hygiene issue?

Answer: You are correct not to "freak out" over this. Every child starts to discover what feels good to them at various ages. There are instances of girls as young as 4 touching themselves (and liking it) in public. You brought up an interesting point that her parents do not bathe her every day. It could be that when she started to bathe herself that she wanted to be extra clean and inadvertently discovered that the sensation feels good too. Now for the "Are we going to have a sensually/sexually active child on our hands?" That situation really depends on the parents and the talks they are able to have with her about sex and boys. There are many women who masturbate that are still virgins - even in their 30s.