I'm heterosexual--I think.
Question: I'm heterosexual--I think. I’ve always had sex only with men, and I enjoy it most of the time. But I’ve always had this voice in the back of my head telling me to get involved with a woman. Lately that voice is louder, and I have this yearning desire for a relationship with a woman. I don't know what changed recently, but the feelings are stronger than ever. I look forward to sex with a man, and then, when I’m with him, I fantasize I’m with a woman. I've never been with a woman--yet--but get excited just thinking about it. I guess what I need to know is how to deal with this. I'm not in a relationship now and I live alone. I also don't know where to begin to discreetly find another woman who might be interested in me. I guess I'm confused and I need someone to ask. Does this mean I’m a lesbian? Help.
Answer: You say you enjoy sex with men but want to experience sex with women. So you're neither 100% heterosexual, nor 100% lesbian. You're bisexual. Plenty of people feel sexual attraction to both men and women. Sex isn't necessarily an either-or proposition. Lately, you’re leaning more toward your “women” side. That’s normal. Many bisexuals go through periods of feeling more attracted to one gender than the other. As for what you should do about your attraction to women, that's you decision. One way to begin would be to enter the term “bisexuality” in any search engine. Visit some sites; see what you think, and where it leads. If you'd like to pursue a relationship with a woman, we suggest you contact lesbian or bisexual organizations in your area, attend a few functions as a "sightseer," and see if you meet anyone interesting.
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