I Want To Give Him My All
Question: I have an interesting problem... I have recently started to become intimate with a man I have been seeing... and here in lies the problem.
I have always been one that enjoys taking care of my partner first (I am a female) either with oral stimulation which he loves and tactile stimulation which he also loves... problem is he has an ED problem and uses Cavajet, but that medication can only be used at a max 3 times a week and we enjoy sex daily....
He has never NOT satisfied me but I want sometimes to do more for him. He is a very giving and a wonderful, kind, and considerate man those women have thrown aside because of his problem.... What can I do as a loving partner to make the experience more wonderful for him. I verbally encourage and praise him when he makes love to me and these women have no idea what a gem they have pushed away.
I have never had anyone have sexual relations with me that is so concerned with MY satisfaction. I just want to be able to do more for him.... he says he is satisfied but I want to do little things, sexual things, intimate things, erotic things, that tells him he is terrific in all ways....
The ED problem is a physical thing verified by an Urologist, but I am suspecting the premature ejaculation might be from previous bad relationships with women that couldn't care less except for their satisfaction....
HELP me please, as I do love this man... and want him to experience joy beyond belief...
Answer: I have two suggestions for you:
First, are you aware that it's possible for men to experience orgasm/ejaculation without erection? Yes, it's true. The nerves involved in erection are different physiological mechanism of erection is different than what triggers ejaculation/orgasm. Now typically, men need an erection to experience orgasm/ejaculation. But it's possible to use oral and especially vigorous hand massage of the flaccid penis to produce orgasm/ejaculation. It takes patience to accomplish this, and vivid sexual fantasizing by the man. But it's often possible. You might try that.
Beyond that, I think you guys might benefit from a short course of professional sex therapy. A sex therapist might be able to help you with what I described above. A therapist might also be able to help you figure out other ways to enjoy frequent, mutually fulfilling sex despite his erection difficulty. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the Web site of the American Assoc. of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists (www.aasect.org). Click on Find a Therapist. A map of the U.S. and Canada pops up. Click your state or province and up comes a list of all the therapists in your area.
View All Ask Xandria Questions
Ask Xandria Yourself!
Ask Xandria just wouldn't be all that interesting without questions would it? Guess who we need
to ask the questions -
you! You may either submit your questions via email at
askxandria@xandria.com or
click here
to submit your questions online.