I wanna learn to 'Talk Dirty'
Question: My boyfriend and I have great sex. However I have a very hard time expressing myself verbally during sex—talking dirty to him. This has always been a problem for me. I’ve never talked dirty, and I can’t seem to be able to do it. I know this disappoints my boyfriend. He is always asking me to talk nasty to him, but I can’t find the right words. Help.
Answer: Your problem is fairly common. Many people feel tongue-tied when it comes to matters sexual. Here are some suggestions that should help. First, learning to talk dirty is a process that can take a while, like a year or so. Be patient with yourself. There's no need to start with talking really dirty, or even using words. Start simply by vocalizing during sex, doing things like moans, and saying "Oooh." Start softly and over a few weeks or a month add some volume.
Next, when you're aroused and into things, say just one word: "Yes!" That tells your boyfriend that you're having fun and it's the beginning of sexual vocalization. Practice that for a few weeks or months, and then move on to things like, "Oh, yes, more." or "Oh, God, that feels so good." Notice that there's nothing sexual or "dirty" about these expressions of sensual pleasure. They're not difficult to say, especially if you work up to them as I've suggested.
Finally, after these sentences feel comfortable, work up to finishing this sentence: "I love it when you --" Fill in the blank with whatever sexual term or move you enjoy and feel comfortable saying. After six to 12 months, you should be able to speak sexually comfortably.
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