He Masturbates Too Much!
Question: My boyfriend masturbates all the time. When I ask to have sex he turns me down. He will not give me an answer as to why he does this. He looks at Playboy and masturbates. This hurts me deeply and is depressing me. He says there is nothing wrong with me. Do you think he masturbates so much that he can't orgasm with a female.
This is going to make or break our relationship. I can't stand not having sex.
Answer: I don't know why your boyfriend prefers masturbation to sex with you. I wish he would tell you. I do know that most men in committed relationships continue to masturbate, some occasionally, others frequently. But in most cases, the men continue to have sex with their lovers.
Both masturbation and partner sex are sexual, but the two experiences are quite different. In masturbation, you only have yourself to please, which is easier than pleasing a lover. During masturbation you don't have to worry about a lover's pleasure or anything but your own pleasure. Sometimes that feels good, even if you're in a solid, loving relationship.
Have you told him that you're so distressed by his refusal to make love with you that you're considering breaking up? That might wake him up. If not, then I'd suggest a brief course of counseling with a sex therapist. A sex therapist could maybe get to the bottom of your boyfriend's preference for masturbation over partner sex. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists at www.aasect.org. Click the map of the U.S. and Canada, and get a list of all the AASECT-certified sex therapists in your state or province.
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