Extremely Frustrated
Question: My wife shows no interest whatsoever in oral sex. Giving or receiving. I've explained why it’s important to me and how special it would be but she's just not interested in doing this for me.
We've gone on websites about it, talked about it, and I've explained in a very stress-less environment that I'm being patient. Her reply is she'll work on it. 2 years later nothing. We found out about a week ago that a couple we know in their late 60's are all about it, books about it and toys to boot… still no progress. I shower and groom, etc but not the slightest progress. I know she's done it before because she's told me how she used to do it in cars when she was younger. How in the hell do I not take this personal?
A couple of years ago she asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her a blowjob. That’s all, nothing else. She threw me a party which was cool and I thought it meant good news for me but not a single sign or mention of it. What’s frustrating as hell is I could get a blowjob in about a half hour at any given time but I want to remain faithful. HELP!!
Answer: You and your wife had done all that we would have suggested, talking about it etc. Her resistance and your insistence alone will not be able to assist the both of you to a mutually beneficial solution. You should attend a session with a sex therapist to help get to her feelings for not wanting to give or receive oral sex.
To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) at www.aasect.org. Click the map of the U.S. and Canada, and get a list of all the AASECT-certified sex therapists in your State or Province.
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