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Question: My girlfriend has prominent vaginal lips. What does that mean? Her vaginal lips start burning a few minutes into sex and then they get very dry. We use abundant KY Jelly, which lasts her for a while, but then her vaginal lips start burning so much that she asks me to come and pull out of her. This, I think, is the main reason why she never has an orgasm. What is the best solution for this? Please advise.

Answer: You ask what it means that your girlfriend has prominent vaginal lips. All it means is that she has prominent lips. Nothing more. Some women have large breasts, some small. Some men are 6' 5" tall; others are 5' 8". And some women have prominent, fleshy vaginal lips, while others have thinner, smaller ones. It's simply a natural variation. It doesn't "mean" anything. As for her vaginal dryness and burning feeling during intercourse: It's good that you guys use a lubricant, but KY Jelly doesn't seem to be working for you. As lubes go, KY is not all that great. We suggest you try experimenting with other brands. Xandria sells several, including a Lubricant Sampler Kit that allows you to try several. You can also find lubricants at pharmacies. You might try Probe or Astroglide. Use lube generously, and as soon as she starts to get dry again, reapply it. It's also possible that her vaginal lips are somehow sensitive to the ingredients in KY, and that KY is actually irritating her. That’s another reason to experiment with different lubes. If other lubes don't relieve the burning, then we'd urge her to see a doctor. As for her lack of orgasm, feeling a burning sensation in one's genitals is certainly enough to suppress the relaxation and erotic focus it takes to come. So your first order of business is to eliminate the burning. Once you do, it's important to understand that fewer than half of women can have orgasms from penis-in-vagina intercourse. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation. Are you providing that? If you want to help her come, we urge you to provide direct clitoral stimulation with your hand or tongue. Or encourage her to use a vibrator on herself. Or as she does, you can hold her and caress her. Xandria sells all sorts of vibrators. Perhaps the two of you could shop for one that appeals to her, and then you might buy it for her. Assuming your girlfriend’s burning sensation can be cured, if she needs further assistance with orgasm, we suggest a sex therapist. Sex therapists enjoy excellent results teaching women how to experience orgasm. To find a sex therapist near you, contact either or both of these organizations: The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) at (804) 644-3288, or on the Web at www.aasect.org, or the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS), (610) 530-2483, or www.sexscience.org.