Bringing Her To Orgasm At 60
Question: I am dating a gal who is 60. I have difficulty giving her an orgasm. She has been without a man for 8 years and has only masturbated during this time. What do I do?
Answer: First, you don't "give" her orgasms. She brings them forth from deep within herself when she feels deeply relaxed, safe, and highly aroused. If she's been without a lover for 8 years, she may be anxious about your relationship and her sexuality. That anxiety could interfere with her ability to have orgasms. My suggestion: Be very kind, loving, supportive, and patient.
Second, only 25% of women are consistently orgasmic from intercourse, and only half of women are even occasionally orgasmic during intercourse. Intercourse can be great fun for both lovers, but it rarely provides enough direct clitoral stimulation to trigger orgasm in the woman. The reason is that women's pleasure organ, the clitoris is located outside the vagina and a few inches above it beneath the spot where the tops of her vaginal lips come together. If you've been hoping/expecting her to come during intercourse, I suggest you let go of that idea, and instead focus on providing direct clitoral stimulation with your fingers, your tongue, or a sex toy.
Finally, you say that for the eight years before you got together, she masturbated. Did she have orgasms? I urge you to ask her. If she did, then I suggest that you ask her to show you how she caresses herself to have them. Once you see what she needs to have orgasms, I'm confident that she can coach you to help her have them. If she was not orgasmic from masturbation, then I would urge her to consult a sex therapist. Sex therapists enjoy an excellent track record of helping women discover how to have orgasms.
To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) at www.aasect.org. Click the map of the U.S. and Canada, and get a list of all the AASECT-certified sex therapists in your state or province.
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