Any drawbacks to anal play?
Question: Recently, during anal intercourse, my wife asked me to ejaculate inside her anus. It sounded so erotic. I did it and we both enjoyed it.
But now we wonder: Are there any drawbacks to this? My wife and I really enjoy anal sex, but we were wondering if there was any way that too much penetration too often would decrease her sphincter's ability to return to its normal state?
Answer: Assuming plenty of lubrication, a slow pace of insertion, and true consent on the part of the recipient, anal intercourse does not damage the sphincter, nor does it decrease the its ability to return to its normally closed state.
Your wife's anus has opened and closed thousands of times in her life. The anus cannot tell the difference between material coming out or going in. It simply opens and then closes in response to physiological demand.
For safe, enjoyable anal intercourse that does not damage the sphincter, here are some suggestions:
* The recipient should always be in charge. It's best to hold the inserting object--finger, butt plug, penis--still and allow the recipient to move back onto it. That way the recipient controls the speed and depth of insertion.
* Lubrication. Unlike the vagina, the anal canal does not produce natural lubrication. It's also a tighter sphincter. Lubrication is essential. More is better. Xandria.com offers several fine lubricants.
* Be very gentle. In pornography, anal inserters push in quickly and pump furiously in and out. Don't do this. Anything inserted into the anus should enter very slowly and move slowly and gently. Check in with the recipient often, asking: Is this ok?
* Wash beforehand. Many people interested in anal play are put off by the possibility of fecal contact. The recipient should wash with soap and water beforehand, inserting a soapy finger to clean the lower portion of the anal canal. Some people also use an enema or two beforehand.
* Beware of hemorrhoids. About one-quarter of Americans have them. Some cause pain. During painful hemorrhoid episodes, anal sex is not a good idea. Sometimes, internal hemorrhoids don't cause pain ordinarily, but might during anal sex. If the recipient feels any pain, withdraw. Also sometimes, painless hemorrhoids might bleed a little, resulting in bloody streaks on the inserted object. Traces of blood are no cause for concern, but for any significant bleeding, consult a physician.
* Start small. Of all the types of anal sex, penis-anus intercourse is the LEAST practiced. Most people insert fingers or small, thin anal toys--Xandria sells several. If you go for penis-anus intercourse, all of the above suggestions become even more important.
* There is nothing problematic about ejaculating inside an anus if the recipient is amenable. The main issue is the involuntary hip thrusts of the inserter's orgasm. These thrusts may not be as gentle as the recipient likes. Check in with your wife about your thrusting during orgasm. If she's fine with it, great but if she asks you to thrust less forcefully, do your best to honor her wishes.
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