46 Year Old Virgin
Question: I have been looking for answers to some hard questions. First off, I'm 46 years old and still a virgin and am fixing to lose my virginity. I would like to know in this length of time would my hymen still be in tact. I'm clueless about that.
There are no pressure, both of us are adults, what should I experience for doing this? I'm trying to prepare myself for what is to come. Should I hurt or feel pain. How do I wear a condom?
All these questions are important to me I need these questions answered; I'd appreciate it if they were.
Answer: Let's discuss each question separately:
1. Hymen: A woman's hymen can be broken at anytime with activities which do not require sexual intercourse - such as aggressive horseback riding, mountain biking, etc. There is no way to know if your hymen is intact unless you are examined by a doctor. Keep in mind there are also a few cases, of women whose hymen have remained intact even after their first sexual encounter.
2. Condom: Typically a man wears the condom. You can integrate placing the condom on his penis with your foreplay.
3. What to expect: Everyone's experience is different. Comfortable intercourse is about deep, whole-body RELAXATION. Many women are anxious about first intercourse. That anxiety can translate to muscle tension, including contraction of the vaginal muscles. This may cause pain. Here is a suggestion: the two of you should start with a long, hot shower together. Soap each other up, play in the shower. Hot showers are very relaxing, and any playing with the spray provides whole-body, massage-like sensuality, also very relaxing. Then dry each other--more whole body touch. Then get into bed, but DON'T attempt intercourse for at least 30 minutes. Feel free to really go at it: holding each other, kissing, caressing everywhere, hand job, oral, whatever you like. Play this way for at least a half hour which allows your vagina to relax and become receptive to his erection.
When the time comes for intercourse, lubricate your vaginal lips and vagina, and his penis. It's best to use the woman-on-top position. He should lie on his back absolutely still. You straddle him, line him up, and then slowly sit down on his erection. You should control the speed and depth of insertion. Play with it. Feel free to go slowly. Once you have him comfortably inside you, then you can invite him to move--slowly and gently.
This approach maximizes your relaxation and comfort. It's also a really great way to make love, very sensual and playful.
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