The Joy of Blindfolds (Especially for Women)
Author: Michael Castleman, M.A.
Mention light BDSM (bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism), and the erotic enhancements that usually come to mind include: spanking, wrist and ankle cuffs, restraints, nipple clamps and floggers. Unfortunately, blindfolds often get left off the list. That’s a shame because couples interested in exploring light, loving, erotically supercharged role-playing often find that blindfolds are a wonderfully erotic sexual enhancement - especially when worn by the woman.
Men Love to See, Women Love to Feel
Sexologists agree that most men get turned on visually; it's no coincidence that the vast majority of lingerie is made for women. The reason is that men love to see their lovers in sexy outfits. It's also no coincidence that the focus of most erotic photography and pornography are naked women; men love to look at it.
Women certainly appreciate the erotic power of sight, but sexologists agree that most women are turned on more by touch than by what they see. Women love the feel of sexy outfits. They enjoy whole-body massage, hot baths, bubble baths, warm fuzzy robes and cuddling.
Deprive a man of sight with a blindfold, and it often interferes with his arousal because he can't see his beautiful lover's face, breasts, butt and vulva. But deprive a woman of sight using a blindfold, and she if often able to experience loving touch more deeply that when she's able to see it happen.
This is not to say that men can't enjoy being blindfolded, many do. But for men, sight deprivation is often an acquired taste. Of course, at Xandria, we believe it's a taste well worth acquiring. Once a man gets used to it, sight deprivation can be the fast lane into a new level of erotic experience.
Making Blindfold Play Erotic - Without BDSM
Blindfolds are considered BDSM toys, but you don't have to be into restraint or power play to enjoy them. Just slip one on your lover and let the fun begin.
Deprived of sight, the other senses become immediately heightened. Scented candles smell more fragrant. Music sounds more intense. And the taste buds perk up when the blindfolded person's lover feeds her - or him - tasty little treats.
But the sense that becomes most aroused by blindfolding is touch. Deprived of sight, every touch, from feathery strokes to firm pressure takes on an added dimension of erotic delight. Without sight, distractions disappear and allow blindfolded individuals to concentrate on the subtleties of sensation transmitted through their skin.
Try combining blindfold play with slow, sensual, full-body massage. Use a massage lotion - Xandria sells several.
Or experiment with massage toys. If you're unsure how to give a good massage, relax. With these toys, you don't have to be trained in erotic massage. All you have to do is run them around the recipient's body, from head to toe:
The Pleasure Mitt Kit is a blue, jelly-vinyl mitten that fits all hand sizes and slips comfortably on to either hand. It has long jelly nubs on one side and short nubs on the other for two deliciously different sensations.
Xandria's Fukuoku Massage Glove adds arousing zing to full-body massage. Made of a soft nylon/Lycra blend, the Fukuoku has powerful mini-vibrators built into each fingertip. The low speed provides gentle stimulation. The high speed delivers intensity that rivals larger vibrators. The Fukuoku Massage Glove is perfect for both full-body massage and sexual stimulation. In addition, it's waterproof for tub and shower play. One size fits most hands. The glove is washable and batteries (included) slip into a convenient pouch. Available for the left or right hand.
The classic Hitachi Magic Wand is the world's most popular vibrating massager. Its varying speed, big-ball top massage head delivers indescribably delicious sensations from the scalp to the soles of the feet—and everywhere in between.
And don't forget the imagination, it's often easier to slip into vivid erotic fantasies when you can't see. Perhaps the blindfolded person harbors secret (or not-so-secret) fantasies of sex in naughty places. While blindfolded, it's easier to imagine that you're enjoying pleasures you'd never actually feel comfortable pursuing.
Blindfolds and BDSM
Blindfolds add to the intensity of BDSM by making the submissive (bottom/sub) all the more dependent on the dominant (top/dom). For the sub to move around, the dom must lead. Blindfolds also provide an excellent opportunity for nurturing because a loving dom keeps his (or her) sub safe from harm, and the risk of harm - bumping into things, falling down stairs, etc. - rises when the sub cannot see.
For subs who feel nervous about being restrained, spanked or flogged, blindfold play incorporates all the exciting elements of power-exchange role-playing - without the intense sensations of heavier BDSM. In fact, blindfold play can be a safe, sensual introduction to BDSM.
Portable, Unobtrusive and Inexpensive
One major advantage of blindfolds is that they attract no "naughty" attention. It can feel awkward to leave a vibrator or restraints on your night table and have children, friends or family see your toys. But it's easy to say that a blindfold is simply a "sleep mask" so that you can sleep in true dark.
Another advantage is that blindfolds take up almost no space and are easily portable. Vibrators and BDSM toys can take up considerable space in luggage - and if you travel abroad, do you want customs agents finding them? Blindfolds travel easily and allow you to have a little bit of sexy spice wherever you go.
Finally, compared with many other sex toys, blindfolds are inexpensive. Xandria's soft, comfortable, nylon No Peeking mask costs just $11 and one size fits all.