Finding the G-Spot
Author: Michael Castleman, M.A.
"It seems like everyone knows about the G-Spot except me and my partner," complained a patient of mine. "We tried to find it the whole night without any success. Is it possible that there is something wrong with me and I don't have one?"
Oh, this mysterious area which supposedly brings women a series of unbelievable orgasms, as well as new feelings of untold sexual pleasure. Is there really a spot that is so sensitive? Does it really exist? If so, where is it and how do I find it?! First, a little background...
The G Spot was named after Dr. Ernest Grafenberg who, in 1950, described a "zone of erogenous feeling... located in the area along the suburethal surface of the anterior vaginal wall." However, the first mention of this "spot" appeared in the medical literature in the 17th century. Dutch anatomist De Graaf (who provided the first modern description of the human male and female genitalia) described what is now known as the G-Spot as "the substance called quite aptly the female prostate. The function of the 'prostate' is to generate a pituitoserous juice which makes women libidinous."
The G-Spot is a sexually sensitive area about the size of a pea located on the front wall of the vagina, about two or three inches in from the vaginal opening–midway between the public bone and the cervix. Interestingly in a recent research study, the G-spot was found in every women examined. Most interestingly some women report that when stroked, the G-spot swells to the size of a small walnut and provokes a powerful orgasm, sometimes accompanied by a burst of fluid.
So, would you like to try to find your own G-Spot? If you are comfortable with you own body and want to explore, begin that way. There is really no right or wrong way to start. Do you remember how you first discovered masturbation? It is similar now -– hear your feelings, trust your emotions and do not be embarrassed to do something wrong. Do you have a partner who can help you? It can be very useful, but it is not essential.
Most women find it hard to locate their own G-Spots while lying on their backs, so begin by getting into a sitting or squatting position. Many women have stopped short of really finding their G-Spot because they were discouraged or embarrassed by a strong urge to urinate during stimulation. To avoid this anxiety, I recommend that you urinate before the start of your exploration. If you still have some worries, place a towel underneath you. Begin by examining the upper front wall of your vagina, applying firm upward pressure (just remember to use a good water-based lubricant!). At first, this area might feel like a small bean; during stimulation it may swell to the size of an almond or even larger. Size varies among women and does not correlate with the size of other body parts. Don't be afraid to go further in discovering your body. Your other hand can be also useful. Try applying downward pressure on the outside of the abdomen just above the pubic bone. During stimulation you might feel twitches or contractions in your uterus –- this is normal. Unlike the clitoral masturbation, G-Spot stimulation often requires very firm to downright strong pressure. You have to determine what works for you -- how exactly to press or touch this area. Unfortunately, some methods of birth control such as the diaphragm can interfere with stimulation of this area, so you should remove it if you are practicing on your own.
You should also know that some women ejaculate a clear fluid during orgasm following G-Spot stimulation. Sometimes they do not know whether it's urine or ejaculate because they feel the urge to urinate just before this happens. Ejaculate, however, usually has a different smell and is much clearer and whiter than urine.
Do you have a partner with whom you want to explore and have fun? He or she can be very helpful. One thing your partner can do is explore with two fingers (palm down) the front of wall of your vagina. If it is more comfortable for you to lie on your back, the G-Spot could be found by putting pressure against the top wall of the vagina with one or two fingers (palm up). Have him or her make a "come hither" motion! It is also possible to enjoy G-Spot stimulation while having intercourse. Woman-on-top or a sitting position often works the best for this. In these positions, you have greater control of the depth and speed of penetration. Interestingly, a smaller penis is sometimes more effective than a larger one. On the other hand, some women prefer the missionary position in which they can better stimulate their own G-Spot (and clitoris).
If you or your partner is having difficulty reaching the G-Spot using fingers, there are a number of excellent sex toys that are specially designed for G-Spot stimulation. Some even vibrate, which many women say increases sensation. Experiment and see what works best for you. Most importantly, if you find that you do not enjoy playing with your G-Spot or are not able to locate it, there is no reason to be upset or worried. Some women have orgasms via stimulation of the G-Spot, some feel nothing, some even find stimulation to be unpleasant. Regardless, to know yourself better and to understand what kinds of stimulation you like, it is good to practice pleasuring yourself and exploring your body. Perhaps you will simply need several attempts and more practice. Regardless, finding your G-spot, while it might be an interesting, new experiment, should not become your goal. It is merely one of several things that can enhance and make sex an even more pleasurable experience. As long as you (and your partner) are satisfied, that is all that really matters.
Sidebar:
What about men? Do they too have a secret pleasure zone? Similar to women, men have an area called the prostate which can be stimulated with a finger, penis or dildo. The prostate is a soft gland a few inches inside the rectum, on the anterior wall (towards the stomach). Most men who have had a prostate exam in a medical context will tell you it is no fun at all, but it can bring a lot of enjoyment during sex with a partner or by yourself! The best position to find the prostate is lying on the your back, knees up and feet on the bed. Some men prefer to draw their legs even farther up, towards the chest. Insert a well-lubricated finger and make the same type of come-hither motion described above. The prostate is actually easier to feel under your finger than the G-Spot, and a man will know right away if his prostate is being stimulated!
Many men report that stimulation of this area brings unusual, good feelings which are quite different from that attained by stimulation of the penis. The orgasm itself is often of a different nature, though just as enjoyable. During ejaculation the fluid usually flows out rather than spurts, although the amount is comparable to that of a normal ejaculation. Of course, there is nothing to stop you from combining prostate stimulation with direct stimulation of the penis. In fact, many men I have spoken to say that their greatest orgasms came from a partner performing oral sex on them while also stimulating their prostate. So why not give it a try –- what have you got to lose?