Aphrodisiacs II: Appeal to All Five Senses
Author: Michael Castleman, M.A.
Mention "aphrodisiacs" and most people think only of herbs or drugs, but that view is as limited as the missionary position. "The most neglected ingredient of great sex is the backdrop," says sexual medicine specialist Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., author of The Alchemy of Love and Lust (Putnam, 1996) and co-author (with James Goldberg, Ph.D.) of Sexual Pharmacology (Norton, 1996). "When lovemaking becomes routine, the stimulating physical setting is usually the first thing to go. Instead of a deep-pile carpet by a roaring fire in a ski chalet with a magnificent view, it's a dark bedroom on musty sheets when you're both exhausted. For ordinary sex to become great sex, the setting is crucial. Appeal to your senses. Arouse all five of them."
Sight: Candles, Lingerie, Videos. One reason so many people are in the dark about great sex is that they make love with the lights off. Try candles. They illuminate lovemaking with a shimmering, romantic glow.
Letting a little love light shine allows you to see your lover in all of the person's sexy glory. That's a sensual gift. Speaking of gifts, when you receive one, opening the wrapping is half the fun. The same goes for sex. Dressing up in sensual outfits, then slowly undressing each other turns ordinary lovemaking into a gift-wrapped surprise. "Unfortunately," says Amy Levinson, product manager of the Xandria Collection catalog of sensual enhancements, "most men think that sexy clothing means teddies and skimpy underwear. Not many women have bodies that look good in those items and even if they do, skimpy lingerie just doesn't appeal to some women. Instead of feeling sexy, they feel self-conscious and turned off." Levinson says that visual sexiness has less to do with what's revealed all at once than with what's hidden and then slowly revealed. "We sell teddies and other skimpy lingerie," Levinson says, "but in my experience, most women feel sexier in full-coverage silk or satin robes that allow their charms to be revealed slowly, inch by arousing inch." That's why the Xandria Collection Lingerie Catalog features intimate fashions for all shapes and sizes.
The glow from a TV screen can also spice up sex, especially if the program you watch features couples enthusiastically coupling. Many sex therapists recommend x-rated videos as visual aphrodisiacs. Most men need little convincing. But many women consider traditional male-oriented pornography demeaning. Some years ago, one former porn starlet, Candida Royalle, launched Femme Productions to produce x-rated video aimed specifically at women. Other producers have followed. Their videos feature plenty of "hardcore action," but the characters also have loving relationships and some emotional complexity.
According to two recent studies, these woman-oriented videos are a major turn-on for women. Donald Mosher, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut in Storrs and Paula MacIan showed 395 college students (200 men, 195 women) one of six x-rated videos -- three traditional male-oriented tapes and three woman-oriented programs. Most men said they found both types of videos equally arousing. However, the women clearly preferred the woman-oriented programs. Compared with women who watched traditional pornography, those who viewed the Femme videos reported considerably more intercourse afterward.
In a similar study at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, Ellen Laan and colleagues surveyed 47 women psychology undergraduates' reactions to traditional pornography and woman-oriented videos. But this study delved deeper, as it were, into the participants' sexuality. In addition to filling out a survey, the women were also fitted with tampon-like devices that measured vaginal engorgement, an indication of sexual arousal. In the survey arm of the study, the women greatly preferred the woman-oriented programs calling them much more arousing. Unexpectedly, however, both types of x-rated videos elicited similar vaginal reactions, suggesting that feelings of sexual arousal are more subjective than objective.
Both of these studies suggest that to sexually excite women, woman-oriented videos are the way to go. The Xandria Collection features several in this category -- videos by Deborah Shames ("Cabin Fever," "The Voyeur" and "The Hottest Bid") andrew Blake ("Captured Beauty," "Les Femmes Erotique" and "Hidden Obsessions") and Michael Ninn ("Decadence" and "Diva"). Xandria also offers sensual, instructional videos designed to teach sexual techniques in a delightfully erotic manner.
Sound: Music. Nothing complements the sound of heavy breathing better than your favorite tunes. And if your bedroom walls are thin, cranking up the volume can mask love's little noises and help you feel more comfortable whooping it up. The Xandria Collection Alternatives in Audio catalog offers several CDs and cassettes that can give you an erotic earful. For example, "Afro-Desia" and "The Mona Lisa Series."
Touch: A hot bath or shower. "Every square inch of the body is a sensual playground," sex therapist Louanne Cole says. "It's sad that so many lovers, especially men, explore only a few corners." To discover the sensuality of the whole body, try a hot bath or shower together using a fragrant herbal soap. Bathing is a wonderfully arousing prelude to lovemaking. The warmth relaxes muscles made tense by the daily grind. And soaping and drying each other can be a marvelous whole body turn-on. For extra enjoyment, dry off with warm towels. Before you get into the water, drape your towels over a radiator or pop them into the dryer so they'll be warm when you use them.
Sharing massages is another way to get literally in touch with a lover. Massage is an intimate conversation without words. Simply pour some massage lotion on your hands and stroke your honey's hands, arms, legs, feet and everything else. The Xandria Collection offers dozens of massage products: lotions, lubricants, massager-vibrators and toys like the Love Glove.
And speaking of touch, let's not forget the delightfully erotic sensations that vibrators, dildos and other sex toys help create. Xandria customers who page through the catalog together often say that just shopping for sex toys can be a major turn-on. Buying some and using them works even better.
Smell: Scent-ual Aromatherapy. What's the aroma of lust? According to Alan Hirsch, M.D., neurologic director of the Smell and Taste Research Foundation in Chicago, it's the familiar spice cinnamon. Hirsch fitted male medical students' penises with gauges that detected erection and then exposed them to dozens of fragrances. The only one that got a rise was the smell of hot cinnamon buns. But other aromas can also add sensuality to sex. Try scented candles on your night table, a bouquet of flowers, a fragrant herbal potpourri or a new perfume.
Several companies have recently released fragrances containing pheromones -- chemicals that play a powerful role in animal sexuality and may pique sexual attraction between humans. The keyword here is "may." Studies to date are "intriguing but not persuasive," says Dr. Crenshaw, whose personal experiments with pheromone fragrances have produced "nothing noticeable." But if you'd like to try a pheromone fragrance, the most widely available human pheromone products are sold under the brand name Realm at Bloomingdale's, Macy's, Neiman Marcus and other department stores.
Taste: Fine food. If you doubt that food can enhance sex, rent the video of Nine and A Half Weeks, (with Mickey Rourke and Kim Bassinger) and fast-forward to the refrigerator scene. Fine food and the conversation that goes along with it can be a wonderful form of foreplay that makes what happens after dessert taste even more delicious. Just go easy on the alcohol (see sidebar: "Beware the Sex Killers).
Aroused By Intimacy. Okay, so you've got a roaring fire in the hearth, soft music on the stereo, Realm perfume dabbed on, cinammon-scented candles burning, a pot of ginseng tea, a sexy video on the VCR, the Sensual Lovers Vibrator Kit open and ready and a plate of oysters ringed by chocolate kisses on the coffee table. Now what? Your author wholeheartedly recommends boardgames produced by Barbara and Michael Jonas' company, Time for Two of San Francisco. Xandria offers two of them: "Sexsational" and "Two to Tango." They are wonderful aphrodisiacs-in-a-box.
The Jonas' career in sensual games for couples began in 1979, ironically, with a marital tiff. As a kiss-and-make-up offering, Barbara developed the prototype of their first game, "An Enchanted Evening." They had a wonderfully erotic interlude playing it and friends encouraged them to market it commercially. "An Enchanted Evening" became a success and led them to develop their other games.
The Jonas' games are all different, but each involves some statements and some actions. Statements have to do with what you admire, enjoy or find sexy in your lover. Actions take the statements and run with them -- usually right into bed. The games encourage the kind of playful touch and supportive communication many couples stop sharing after a while. And they show a profound understanding of how intimacy and sexual desire go hand in hand.
They do, indeed. Take it from your author, you won't finish "Sexational," "Two to Tango," or a similar game from another creator, "Foreplaying Cards." The intimacy they enhance becomes an irresistible aphrodisiac within a half-dozen moves. Which just goes to show that the world's greatest sex stimulant is that crazy, wonderful emotion called love. Without love's special magic, sexual enhancements fall flat. But for couples who share that intimate, chemical bond, aphrodisiacs, defined broadly, can transform lovemaking from "eh" to ecstatic.
Sidebar: Beware The Sex Killers
If you want to rev up your sex life, first make sure you don't shut it down. A surprisingly large number of everyday items are bad news in the sack.
Alcohol. In Macbeth, Shakespeare wrote that the substance used worldwide to coax reluctant lovers into bed "provokes the desire, but takes away the performance." Truer words were never penned. If people of average weight drink more than two beers, cocktails or glasses of wine in an hour, alcohol becomes a powerful central nervous system depressant. It interferes with erection in men and impairs sexual responsiveness in women. Drink too much and all you'll do in the prone position is pass out.
Smoking. One herb is hell on sex -- tobacco. Smoking narrows the blood vessels, impairing blood flow into the penis in men and causing an increased risk of erection impairment. In women, the same mechanism limits blood flow into the vaginal wall, decreasing vaginal lubrication.
Antidepressants. Antidepressants work -- but at a price. All except one (see sidebar: "Wellbutrin") carry a considerable risk of sexual side effects: loss of desire and difficulty reaching orgasm in both sexes; erection impairment in men; and lubrication problems in women. Currently, the most popular antidepressants are the selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs): Prozac, Zoloft and Paxil. According to Jamie Grimes, M.D., chief of outpatient psychiatry at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C., SSRIs cause sex problems in more than half of those who use them. Older antidepressants have similar sex-impairing side effects, among them: the tricyclic medications (Elavil, Tofranil, etc.); monoamine oxidase (MAO) inhibitors (Nardil, Marplan, Parnate, etc.); benzodiazepines (Xanax, Valium, Halcion, Dalmane, etc.); and lithium.
If you take an antidepressant, what can you do to preserve sexual function? Ask your physician about switching to Wellbutrin. Or ask for a lower dose. Jacob Katzow, M.D., a Washington, D.C., psychiatrist, says a lower dose might reduce sexual side effects while preserving antidepressant benefits. Or try a "drug holiday." This advice comes from Anthony Rothschild, M.D., a psychiatrist at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. He studied 30 couples, each with one member taking an SSRI and reporting sexual side effects -- loss of function and/or desire -- noticeable enough to consider going off the medication. Rothschild advised them to go drug-free on weekends from Thursday morning to Sunday at noon. Among the 20 taking Paxil and Zoloft (10 on each drug), half reported better sexual functioning and more desire over the weekend and only two said they felt more depressed. But of the 10 taking Prozac, only one reported sexual improvement, probably because Prozac takes longer than the other SSRIs to clear from the blood.
Other Legal Drugs. An enormous number of prescription and over-the-counter medications can cause sexual impairment, even the antihistamines people take for allergies and cold symptoms. "If a drug label says, 'May cause drowsiness,' "Dr. Crenshaw says, "it can impair sexual desire or performance." Unfortunately, says John Morganthaler, director of the Sex/Drug Interaction Foundation in Petaluma, California, "Few physicians mention the possible sexual side effects of the drugs they prescribe, for example Prozac or high blood pressure medication. The subject embarrasses them." Morganthaler estimates that up to 20 percent of all sex problems are caused by drug side effects or interactions. He recommends asking your doctor and pharmacist about the possibility every time you get a prescription.
High-Fat, High-Cholesterol Diet. A recent study by Ming Wei, Ph.D., of the University of South Carolina School of Medicine in Columbia shows that the higher a man's cholesterol, the more likely he is to suffer erection impairment. Dr. Wei tested the cholesterol levels of 3,250 men, aged 25 to 83, then asked them to complete questionnaires that explored sexual issues. Compared with the men whose total cholesterol was below 180 milligrams per deciliter of blood (mg/dl), those with levels above 240 were almost twice as likely to report erection problems. Cholesterol levels relate directly to consumption of dietary fat and cholesterol, primarily in meats and dairy products. Ironically, many Americans consider meat a "virility food." In fact, it's the opposite. Men who want to enjoy sex without erection problems should forgo the steak and eat virility-preserving salads instead.
Illicit Drugs. There's a good reason why narcotics and tranquilizers are called "downers." That's what happens to the sexual interest of those who use them.
But "uppers" are no better. Amphetamines and cocaine stimulate sexual desire, but impair orgasm, making sex decidedly frustrating. With regular use, desire fades as well.
The most sexually unpredictable illicit drug is marijuana. Some say it enhances lovemaking. Chemically, it just might. Pot increases blood levels of phenythylamine (PEA), which is associated with love and lust. But marijuana makes other people withdraw or become anxious or irritable which can ruin sex.
Finally, all illicit drugs involve risk of involuntary intimacy with the legal system. Fear of possible arrest causes anxiety which takes the joy out of sex.
Sidebar: DHEA -- A Possible, Very Controversial Aphrodisiac
DHEA (dehydroepiandosterone) is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands of both men and women. It is a precursor of both estrogen and testosterone. Recently DHEA has become the biggest supplement fad since melatonin, based on media hype that it improves mood, boosts energy, reduces stress, prevents cancer and heart disease and boosts libido.
San Diego sexual medicine specialist Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., calls DHEA a "natural aphrodisiac." Her studies show that in young women, DHEA levels were "significant predictors" of sexual thoughts, desire and masturbation. But Crenshaw says the hormone is more of an aphrodisiac in women than in men. Men "are so overwhelmed by testosterone that the DHEA effect is relatively insignificant by comparison."
However, another researcher says that DHEA doesn't do much sexually for either men or women. Samuel Yen, M.D., a professor of reproductive medicine at the University of California at San Diego, gave people 50 mg. of DHEA a day for three months. They reported a greater sense of well-being, but no extra sex drive.
DHEA's safety is equally controversial. Some studies show that DHEA prevents liver tumors in animals, while other studies shows that it causes them. Some researchers tout it as a chemical fountain of youth. Others warn that no one should take it. You'll have to decide for yourself. If you opt for DHEA, it's available over the counter at many supplement shops and health food stores.
Sidebar: The Truth About Testosterone
Everyone knows that testosterone is the primary male sex hormone. It's only a short leap to the notion that extra testosterone might give men a sexual boost. It does, but only if you're deficient. The vast majority of men are not.
"Testosterone," says sexual medicine expert Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., author of The Alchemy of Love and Lust, "has been one of the most abused, misused and overprescribed medications for male sexual dysfunction in medical history." She compares the hormone to oil in a car. If you have enough, adding more doesn't make your car run better. In fact, it may cause problems. Extra unnecesary testosterone throws the body's hormonal circuitry out of whack and may increase irritability, aggression, bloodpressure, hair loss and risk of prostate cancer.
But like a car low on oil, supplemental testosterone for men who are truly deficient can restore sexual functioning. The normal range for total testosterone (both "free" and "bound") is 250 to 1,200 ng/dl (nanograms per deciliter of blood), with free testosterone normally ranging from 1.0 to 5.0 ng/dl. Dr. Crenshaw recommend testosterone replacement only if total testosterone falls below 250, with the free hormone at 1.5 or less. Supplemental testosterone may be administered in several ways. Injection produces the greatest increase in blood level with the fewest side effects. This may come as a surprise, but testosterone is not for men only. The ovaries also produce it and though women have only about one-thirtieth as much as men, the hormone is responsible for women's libido. But at menopause, along with the drop in estrogen, women's testosterone production also declines. Several studies have shown that women who supplement replacement female sex hormones with a little testosterone (fluoxymesterone, 5 to 20 mg a day) feel more energetic, less depressed, less anxious and more libidinous. Unfortunately, the hormone also causes acne, aggressiveness, oily skin and possibly liver damage and increased risk of heart disease by boosting blood pressure and cholesterol.
In other words, it should not be taken impulsively. But Dr. Crenshaw considers testosterone "promising" for carefully screened women who suffer unusual libido loss at menopause.
Sidebar: Wellbutrin -- The Antidepressant With Sex-Stimulating Effects
Every prescription antidepressant, except one, is a sex wrecker (see sidebar: "The Sex Killers"). The lone exception is Wellbutrin (bupropion). For reasons that remain biochemically unclear, it has no sex-impairing side effects. Quite the contrary, it restores lost libido and occasionally tweaks sexual interest beyond levels considered typical.
About 10 years ago, sexual medicine specialists Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., and James Goldberg, Ph.D., co-authors of the medical text Sexual Pharmacology gave Wellbutrin to 60 nondepressed men and women who had little or no interest in sex. After three weeks participants' libidos began to perk up and by three months 63 percent reported significant increase in sexual desire, compared with only 3 percent of those taking a placebo. Subsequently, the placebo-takers were switched to Wellbutrin. Seventy-four percent responded with increased sexual desire.
Wellbutrin cannot be considered an aphrodisiac -- at least not yet -- because in studies to date, it has only returned people with low libido to normal or near-normal sexual functioning. "But," Dr. Crenshaw says, "there have been several anecdotal reports of Wellbutrin boosting sexual interest well above normal. I suspect it may be a chemical aphrodisiac, but the studies that could show it have not been done."
If you suffer from low libido, discuss Wellbutrin with your physician. Possible side effects include insomnia, a small risk of seizures (less than 1 percent) and rarely, drug-induced psychosis.